A friend of mine told me that I should stop looking for infatuations and start finding love.
I have finally met a guy I want to fall for...not to make an infatuation this time.
Only problem is, I don't know when I will see him again. We'll call him Jake.
I figure I would never see this guy again, and that two years ago would be it.
It was not a one-night stand or anything, actually I was dating a friend of his for a little bit and met him at our mutual friend/my then bf's dorm. To say the least, his friend and I were so wrong for each other.
Jake tried talking to me when he first met me back then, but I knew his friend was talking badly about me to him so I kept quiet and I could tell his friend and I were going to end soon...I didn't know what the guy thought of me because of that. I didn't know him really well then.
Out of pure, random luck, I saw him again last week. This time, I opened up to him more when he would talk to me. I have never felt this feeling of wanting so badly to fall in love...with Jake.
When another mutual friend of ours told me that Jake is the only virgin left of that group of friends, was actually even on a thing about waiting for marriage at one point, I thought to myself that this is the type of guy that I need to fall in love with. Most non-virgins TRY to get with me too quickly so it ruins the whole thing already.
What I gathered from that night is that we like a lot of the same things, and we have a similar sense of humor, but we are different enough to be compatible. When he was smiling and laughing at everything we talked about, I was never able to do that with anyone else.
I have screwed myself over on who I lost my virginity to and all the rest of my firsts: kiss, etc...except for my first love, I haven't fallen for the wrong person yet.
Jake is everything I am looking for in a guy:
-I don't want someone who has already fallen in love, I would always feel second best regardless if that first love relationship ended...and Jake has never been in love.
-Jake doesn't have kids with anyone else obviously since he is a virgin...I would like some day to have a family of my own, not someone else's.
-And he is going somewhere in life and getting a good education.
I really want to add Jake to facebook, but I am too chicken. I don't want to add him and then find out he won't add me back...I don't know, I just have that sinking feeling he would do that, but I could be wrong.
I got to see him again out of pure, RANDOM as heck chance. I really like his family and we have already mutual friends. He has a brother and two sisters, so pretty big family and they were all really welcoming the one time a mutual friend and all of us hung out at his house.
I want to see him again, when will I see him again? Or was the last time I will ever see him when he walked up his drive way when our friend dropped him off? :(
I had the feeling of wanting to fall for this guy even more when he said, "Well it was nice meeting you again and actually getting to talk to you and hang out with you this time."
Is this a go to add him and that he would add me back? Sometimes guys play mind games like this other time this one guy said he thinks he may like me, so I figure I'd give him a call but he never answered my calls...and I hope to God it's not another one of those situations.
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